Jan. 17th, 2017

sistawendy: (contemplative red)
I was one of many people who quite literally put a couple of shovelfuls of dirt onto Exdad's plain Ashkenazi-issue* wooden coffin late this morning. Ex & her brother speechified beautifully, despite being verklempt. M'boy, who I'm proud of delivering on time and put together way the hell up in Snohomish County, acquitted himself well as an emergency substitute pallbearer; his suit now needs dry cleaning. My toes went numb from being out there in the 7C & rain for an hour and a half.

Afterward was, well, afters at the Safeco Field Diamond Club, which Exdad - a lifelong ardent baseball fan - was in charge of for several years. Yes, there were peanuts, popcorn, and hot dogs, but no alcohol because Jews and not Irishmen. That was probably for the best.

It was kind of nice catching up with Ex's cousins, even if it took me a good few seconds to recognize a couple of them because they'd grown beards since I last saw them. Ex's is the kind of family where everybody shows up: Exmom, who divorced Exdad in the late '70s, was there. Exmom's sister, with whom Exmom hasn't been getting along lately, flew up from L.A. - with her son. A family reunion for my family wouldn't even require a typical restaurant's wait staff to move any tables. In Ex's family, it's a major test of long-term memory for everyone because of all those names, and we all help each other out as much as we can.

I was relieved that Ex didn't want me around at dinnertime - and my son wanted to carpool home after a couple of hours - because I had made a dinner date with Temptress shortly before Exdad's passing.

Readers with superhuman memories may recall that Temptress, my first queer girlfriend, dumped me in '15, then divorced her husband, and then a few months after that we had dinner at her place. At the time, I was, well, not feeling it, as the kids say. She was struggling on several fronts and doing lots of pagan stuff. So I quietly noped out, but I didn't feel too good about myself for doing so.

This evening was different. I had a lovely time, and I think she did too, even if she did have to go home fairly early for work tomorrow. Dating somebody for the first time in a while whom you dated for a long time before that makes it easier for me to open up. Yeah, she's happier with solo poly than I am, but she knows where I'm coming from. I got to tell her a lot of the stories that you've been reading on this here journal. There may have been snogs goodnight. Ahem. We shall Merc together at some point. Oh yes, we shall.

Fun fact: Temptress is a hair taller than I am. Sitting at a table with her is good for my posture. I hope sitting with me doesn't give her a backache.

*Sephardic tradition is just a shroud for burial, no box allowed. I'm not sure how that fits with laws in the US, though.


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