sistawendy (![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png)
sistawendy) wrote2013-03-26 02:13 pm
sistawendy) wrote2013-03-26 02:13 pm
the Seder that almost wasn't
Several days ago, m'boy reminded me that the first night Passover, with its attendant Seder feast, was to be last night. I asked him if he wanted me there, and naturally he said yes. Since my Aspiring Ex is in charge of the cooking, I made sure to ask her if it was OK.* She said sure, if there was going to be a seder.
I found that shocking. You see, my AX lives to cook, and has ever since I met her. She's a Yiddisha mama: she expresses affection for people by feeding them. She's quite proprietary about her kitchen and justifiably proud of her cooking. And she's a more-observant-than-average Jew, so for her to consider not cooking a Seder means something is seriously wrong. It had never happened before.
She was indeed not feeling well, for the drearily usual reason: rheumatoid fucking arthritis. She just had an infusion of gee whiz "biologic" drugs on Thursday, so I would have expected her to be OK in time. She was, mostly; the matzoh balls, desserts, and gefilte fish were hers, but I brought the chicken from PCC.
At one point in the Seder, our lefty liberal Haggadah urged us to tell what imprisons us. Well, you regular readers know the answer: AX herself. I tried to put it delicately: "You need to be self-sufficient."
"Ha," said my AX. "As if that's ever going to happen." Or words to that effect.
We're screwed.
There was one moment of levity: in the passage describing (I think) the Hillel sandwich**, the Haggadah used "constriction" and "sweet" in the same sentence. I said quietly, looking at AX, "Constriction can be sweet." If looks could kill, I'd be in easy-to-carry sections. Neither her father nor my son noticed.
*As any Jew knows, it's perfectly acceptable to just show your butt up to a Seder even if you don't know the hosts, provided you don't mind being likened to the prophet Elijah. AX's aunt once had a drunk neighbor show up to a Seder, and being dutiful Jews, they did not turn the neighbor away.
**Charoset and horseradish between two pieces of matzoh. Go and study it.
I found that shocking. You see, my AX lives to cook, and has ever since I met her. She's a Yiddisha mama: she expresses affection for people by feeding them. She's quite proprietary about her kitchen and justifiably proud of her cooking. And she's a more-observant-than-average Jew, so for her to consider not cooking a Seder means something is seriously wrong. It had never happened before.
She was indeed not feeling well, for the drearily usual reason: rheumatoid fucking arthritis. She just had an infusion of gee whiz "biologic" drugs on Thursday, so I would have expected her to be OK in time. She was, mostly; the matzoh balls, desserts, and gefilte fish were hers, but I brought the chicken from PCC.
At one point in the Seder, our lefty liberal Haggadah urged us to tell what imprisons us. Well, you regular readers know the answer: AX herself. I tried to put it delicately: "You need to be self-sufficient."
"Ha," said my AX. "As if that's ever going to happen." Or words to that effect.
We're screwed.
There was one moment of levity: in the passage describing (I think) the Hillel sandwich**, the Haggadah used "constriction" and "sweet" in the same sentence. I said quietly, looking at AX, "Constriction can be sweet." If looks could kill, I'd be in easy-to-carry sections. Neither her father nor my son noticed.
*As any Jew knows, it's perfectly acceptable to just show your butt up to a Seder even if you don't know the hosts, provided you don't mind being likened to the prophet Elijah. AX's aunt once had a drunk neighbor show up to a Seder, and being dutiful Jews, they did not turn the neighbor away.
**Charoset and horseradish between two pieces of matzoh. Go and study it.
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