all the way out at work

[sistawendy]

I had my scheduled mystery meeting with the lady from HR present. I pretty much stuck to the script - timetable, respect, name, pronouns, funny story about getting Bigpuppy's name right, resources, same person, same job, yadda yadda. One guy showed up late, which was hilarious. Leave room after ten minutes, let HR lady take questions, then send the Big Mail.


Subject: gender transition

Have you ever looked in the mirror and seen something that you know no one else can see? This happens to me every time I look in a mirror, and it’s been happening for most of my life. Making it stop is central to why I’m changing sex.

The timetable is this:
• I’ll be taking vacation starting Monday, December 13th through the end of the year.
• I’ll be changing my badge, my alias, Microsoft’s record of my name, etc. during the rest of December.
• I’ll return to work on January 4th as a woman.

What I need from you is, first and foremost, for you to treat me with the same respect you’d give to any other employee. Please use the correct name (Maura, pronounced MOH-rah) and correct pronouns (she, her, and hers). I realize that it may take time for everyone to get into the habit of using the right words; in the meantime I will remind you gently.

I will answer any questions that you have about this, as long as it doesn’t take time away from our work, by mail, IM, or in person. When I say “any” I mean it.

For further assistance or information, here are some resources:
• [HR lady] in HR, [email alias], has been handling my case. If you have questions for HR pertaining to my transition, she’s the one to talk to.
• HR’s page of information for and about transgender employees: [internal URL]
• I’m following in the footsteps of Megan Wallent, who also transitioned on the job here at Microsoft and still works here. Her blog is http://meganwallent.com/.
• She’s Not There by Jennifer Boylan is a beautifully written memoir from somebody who didn’t work at Microsoft, but made the same transition in circumstances otherwise similar to mine. It’s an entire book, but it’s the best account I’ve ever encountered of what it’s like to be someone like me.

As extraordinary as a transition is, I’ll still be the same person doing the same job.

Thanks,
[old name], soon to be Maura


The only notifications I have left are old school chums, former co-workers, and extended family whom I haven't seen in years.

You will note that this entry is public. I'd like to make most of the back entries on my trans tag public as well. If you would like me to screen or delete your comments, please let me know via mail (I have this username at gmail), private message, or smoke signal.

Comments

[cupcake-goth.livejournal.com]

Congratulations, dear lady. This was a big step, and I'm very excited for you.

[sheistheweather]

Yay for you! :D

[trystbat.livejournal.com]

I'm so glad for you!

[icprncs.livejournal.com]

Awesome. I imagine that there's a kind of whole-body, whole-soul release of tension that happened after all this. Congratulations.

[loree.livejournal.com]

No more Big Damn Secret, hooray!

[gwywnnydd.livejournal.com]

You can't see me, but I'm over here doing the Snoopy Happy Dance on your behalf :).

[staxxy.livejournal.com]

YAY!! How wonderful!

you must keep us up to date on how things go this week. This was a HUGE step, and one that is going to make a lot of difference in your universe.

[savannarama.livejournal.com]

YAY. :D

[javagoth.livejournal.com]

Congratulations!! I hope everyone is great about this!

[cass404.livejournal.com]

Congratulations. I am so pleased for you. It can't be an easy path but I know you are strong enough to travel it.

[maellenkleth]

Congratulations!

This is a big and excellent step, and with clear writing like this, I can foresee that you'll be able to answer any questions as and when they arise.

**hugs**

Elane

[maribou]

Hooray for the Big Giant Step! My fond thoughts are with you, as always.

[bork.livejournal.com]

Yay congratulations!

[evillinn.livejournal.com]

This is so exciting! Congratulations, my dear!

[spaceling.livejournal.com]

Freedom and eloquence. Well done, Ma'am.

Congrats to you!

[queenofthenight.livejournal.com]

Big steps! Very happy for you!

[alton-lust.livejournal.com]

Well done! You remain the same wonderful person. Wishing you smooth sailing and joy.

[la-roja.livejournal.com]

Congrats!

[gement.livejournal.com]

Just for this post, I suddenly feel my lack of a Kermit-with-flaily-arms icon.

*flaily arms!*

I'm so happy for you.

[dymaxion.livejournal.com]

Congratulations, and about time! Enjoy.

[tmfkan64.livejournal.com]

Congrats!

[onefishjyuufish.livejournal.com]

Yay grats! I'm so happy for you. :D

[ximinez]

How the heck did you manage to get 3 weeks of vacation in a row?!? ;-) (Priorities, you know.)

[samemaha.livejournal.com]

YEAY!!!!!!!!! Congrats! Hopefully no one will take it ill.. and if they do, they need to go jump.

[parityanimal.livejournal.com]

Woohoo! Conga rats!

That may well be the hardest thing you've ever done in your life.

[ms-vermilion.livejournal.com]

That's wonderful. I'm so glad that you have such a supportive workplace.

[entelein.livejournal.com]

Congratulations - this is wonderful. :)

[zanfur.livejournal.com]

Wow. I can't claim to understand why this is what you want, but I'm still impressed by how you're going about getting it. Congrats.

[deadrose.livejournal.com]

Yay! Congratulations!

May I share this with my kid? She seems to think there's a gender fairy that's going to wave a wand and it'll all magically be done.