Mediated!

[sistawendy]

So, Aspiring Imminent Ex and I did mediation this morning downtown. It went a little bit better than expected: no yelling matches, punches, kicks, or bites, and IX & I managed to (mostly) rein in our digressive tendencies. We even finished a few minutes early. Our mediator remarked that we were way easier than average. I'm kind of proud of that.

The bullet points:

• One more year of status quo, with a deadline for selling the house of Sep. 30, 2016. We did promise our son one year of no moving.
• Maintenance, for as long as the Wendling can be reasonably be expected to be in college, contingent on whether IX can make enough to live on post-sale. I think she underestimated what that amount is, and I told her so.
• She gets the house, and I get all of my 401(k), which are similar in value.
• When it comes to moveable property, we're both all about the path of least resistance.
• It turns out we're in pretty good shape for the kiddo's college costs. We've done a better job of saving than I thought because IX is as squirrel-like with money as she is with the many disorganized piles of small objects in what is for now our house.
• We're not in great shape for credit card debt. That was the toughest part of the whole mediation. IX lost her biggest client a couple of months ago - again - and her autoimmune conditions have been worse than usual. We'll deal, though, partly with the help of the previous bullet point.

Quotes of the day, both taken completely out of context but characteristic:
IX: I don't want more money. What I really want is validation.
Me: I just want to be left alone.

Next steps:

1. Go out to our last fancy dinner as a couple at Canlis in a couple of hours.
2. File that petition ASAP. That means that you will go to the ball we can be final by the end of this calendar year after all.
3. Call credit card companies and see if I can get the names on the cards disentangled before we're final.

Comments

[ximinez]

Not second guessing, just confused: Why sell the house if you're not splitting the value?

> Me: I just want to be left alone.

Good luck with that. My parents still - very rarely - have to deal with each other about my brother or me.

[sistawendy.livejournal.com]

IX can't make the payments on her own, and she wants to downsize & move back to Seattle anyway.

Don't get me wrong; IX and I can get along just fine. The entangled finances, though, are a real drag.

[ximinez]

That makes sense, particularly if you're still going to help with the payments until she sells.