The kiddo: still not launching.

[sistawendy]

I found out yesterday over dinner* that my son hasn't registered for classes in the fall, and wasn't planning to. I freaked out, natch, and called his mother immediately.

She's copacetic with all this, saying he'll be volunteering for two political campaigns and, we hope, getting his brain stuff together. The original plan of his academic probation was for him to do two quarters of one class, then one of two, then a full load. Both he and his mother insist that his school is OK with his taking fall quarter off.

He's taken breaks from things before, and basically peed them away. On the other hand, the last time he had a full load, he screwed it up; that's how he got on probation in the first place. I'm not trying to get him back to school this fall. I can't anyway, technically. The Wendling points out that he's been paying his own tuition.

I'm astounded at the degree to which my son doesn't seem to want to GTFO of his parents' residences and get on with his life. It's an alien mindset, one that's unknown in my entire extended family, and Ex's too, now that I think about it. Especially with the cost of living in this area, which he says he never wants to leave, the path to independence is through school, as I told him.



*Chicken in white wine reduction, my son's favorite of the things I've learned how to make.

Comments

[ximinez]

Have you and/or the ex started charging him rent?

[sistawendy]

Not yet.

[ximinez]

Should I find myself in a similar situation, that's part of my plan. It won't be outrageous, but at least enough for her to know that it's not going to be a free ride.

[eeyorerin]

Taking a quarter or longer off isn't unheard of at the university level, especially at community colleges. He should notify his advisor(s) that he's planning to do so, though, or they may try to chase him down.

[sistawendy]

I think he has, but I should verify that.

[eeyorerin]

Has he signed a FERPA waiver giving you and Ex access to his records? It might be a good idea.

[sistawendy]

That's a good thing to find out. Thanks.

[eeyorerin]

Most of them are filed electronically so it's a thing he can usually look up on the student Intranet portal or whatever they're using.

Students can also invoke FERPA to explicitly say "do not even tell [parent or person i am related to] that I even exist at this school," so just an FYI for you. I don't think the Wendling would ever do that to either you or his mother, but I've seen it done. I will not talk to a parent or guardian without the student present unless I have explicit consent from the student and I have seen their waiver. Obviously in a documented emergency I will use my better judgement, but still.

[randomdreams]

I may be wrong, but I think there has been a drastic cultural shift in the last 30 years, under which living in your parents' basement is now considered a regular thing.

[sistawendy]

And that's so not OK.