sistawendy | Putting the sex in transsexual. And the zap. And the PTA.

I spent part of last night at the Mercury talking with another MTF transsexual about the sex lives of MTFs. Basically, she said, if you're interested in women and you're pre-op, you're ~~screwed~~ out of luck unless you're attracted to other transsexuals. This wasn't news to me; it matches my own observations and really, as unpleasant as that is for us pre-ops, it makes perfect sense. If lesbians were OK with even a dysfunctional natural penis, they wouldn't quite be lesbians.

Bottom line: presentation matters with everyone. I gotta do what I gotta do to get the Grand Snip and otherwise look female, and that doesn't bother me one bit. What's cruel is that the large majority of MTFs don't have the same advantages I do.

Oh, and I'm sorry to say that even some transsexuals tell canards about bisexuals. I guess you and we get to fight it out for next-to-last in the hierarchy of queerdom, and heaven help anyone who's a member of both groups.

Speaking of presentation, I spent four hours today in Tacoma getting zappy. I even had lunch with Ms. Zappy in the middle of it. A week from today we're doing a six-hour session. Basicaly, I'm doing this to cut down on time & money spent going to Tacoma, plus Ms. Zappy's prices are going up next year.

PTA excitement continues for "conference week" (parents taking over the school during parent-teacher conferences). Before you tell me I'm out of my cotton pickin' mind, let me point out a few things:

Nibs & I are collectively required to put in thirty hours of time with the PTA.
Nibs didn't contribute much last year, and between her health and her recent success in finding work I don't expect her to contribute much this year either.
No one else stepped forward, and time is of the essence. I was a footsoldier for conference week last year, so I was the best freak for the job.
I'm also the best freak for the job because they need someone who can drive a computer to automate scheduling: there are multiple activities going on the whole time. Students pick the ones they want on a first come-first served basis, and it's up to us to prevent conflicts and keep the activities within capacity.

From the Dept. of Heh: my landlord is a drummer in a jazz band. In the garage, to which I have no key, he has a soundproofed practice room with two drum kits that he rents out. Surely some of you can use that information.

(How do I know this if I have no key? I borrowed housemate M2's. I was looking for pliers.)

Flat | Top-Level Comments Only

Hell, I'm just over a 1 on the Kinsey scale, and I could have told you everybody, and I mean, EVERYBODY, talks shit about bisexuals.

I can't personally imagine six hours of zappy, that's... they let you bring a bottle of (taste appropriate) liquor in for that, right?

No booze, just lots of Vitamin I.

I've had brief sexual relationships with two MTF pre-op folks. They were not brief because of them being pre-op. Seems to me the Bisexuals and Trans folks would be better off allies - but then again it would make more sense for all queer folk to be united but I won't hold my breath waiting for it.

I'm pretty omnivorous myself but I know I miss out on a certain amount of opportunities with people I find attractive because my other partner is male and they don't like that (or don't like that he's heterosexual or whatever). I tell myself it's their issue, and it is, but it's still disappointing.

Sheesh. I'm not into men, but if you are and you've got one, that's so not my business. ETA: As long as I'm cool with him, he's cool with me.

And yes, united queerdom would be a wonderful thing. It won't happen in the case of trans people, though, until the rest of queerdom gets over its fear of visibility. Dumping on bisexuals doesn't even make that much sense, though; maybe it happens because too many homos have been shot down by bis.

Edited 2010-09-20 16:05 (UTC)

Dumping on bisexuals doesn't even make that much sense, though; maybe it happens because too many homos have been shot down by bis.

Huh. That hasn't been my experience or the experience of other bisexuals I know (to the best of my knowledge) unless maybe by "shot down" you mean would not agree to dump and then forsake all those with men parts in order to date a lesbian. My experience has been that bisexuals are accused of being on the fence - not able to commit to being queer - or not queer enough. I've had gay folks bitch at me that I don't know what it's really like being queer because I can "pass" as heterosexual. Of course they've never been around for such delightful experiences as being accused of trying to convert a heterosexual woman into gayness - never mind the whole assumption of attraction thing that went on as well. I could go on but it's getting off the point now...

I haven't particularly found that to be true, nor, honestly, that operative status has particularly had any impact whatsoever on my sex life -- there has been one exception, and I could have seen that one coming a mile away if I'd decided enjoying a bad idea wasn't going to be more amusing. So, YMMV.

I'm happy to hear that.

Being Bi... I kind find trannys kinda hot because, for a short time anyway, they are *both* the genders I like, so I do not have to choose one or the other. But then, I like femme shaped boys, and masculine demeanored girls (I like femme shaped girls as well, really). *shrug*

But being bi is largely frowned upon by anyone who *isn't* bi. I think it largely has to do with the misconception that people are bi because they are in some sort of denial about their sexuality, or that they are *so slutty* that they are interested in whatever they can get. Neither of these is actually true, in my observation and experience - most of the bi people I know are the MOST picky about whom they find interesting (possibly *because* they have a wider selection to choose from). Eh. I agree that your mileage may vary.

It is my hope that at least some of the people you find interesting, will find you interesting as well - regardless of your status (pre or post).

Ayunh. What I keep hearing over & over again is that bi people either aren't gay enough or are too slutty. The latter is just plain wrong: I know some married bisexuals, and their fidelity record is at least as good as the straits'. As for the former, it's nobody's goddamn business.

if rumors are to be believed, time and math being what they are and allowing for time to sleep at least 6 hours per day and an hour twice a day for meals.. I should still be having constant sex well into my 80s, just from those I was rumored to have slept with before i turned 25. Constant, mind you, not 'one or two per evening'. Like some sort of revolving door.

It should be noted, here, that Spydrman and I made our commitment when we were both 23.

As someone who is quite cheerfully not gay enough (probably Kinsey 2.5) and not trans enough (my masculine identity only moonlights and doesn't demand constant recognition), I can only quote Captain Jack Harkness, "You people and your quaint little categories!"

Seriously, though, there are a lot of bi women out there, and a lot of lesbian women who really do get it about brain and biochem over bits, who are chill about outies.

Well, that's a relief. And I may hit you up for information later.

For what it's worth, based on the few times I've met you in person, I'd be willing to try a date or three with you--sadly that's rather unlikely given that I live some 8 hours drive away and have a boy who would not be interested in you until post-op. Though... uhm... maybe call after the big snip? We're kind of looking for another girl...

Guess I'm one of the slutty bi's. Heh.

The more I hear about people's horrible coming out experiences for whatever sort of queer they are, the more I am really glad that I have the family and friends that I have, because I have had really no drama about anything (other than occasional odd looks from my mom's folks). My huge revelation to myself about my sexuality consisted of the bf at the time (16 years old?) asking if I'd ever have sex with a girl. I thought about it for a minute and said I didn't see why not, they're prettier than boys anyway. And that was about it for agonizing over my sexual identity. ;)
I've also somehow managed to miss out on the hating from other queers. I'm awfully lucky, I guess.

Heh. I'm not into boys, but if that isn't a requirement I'll certainly look forward to any visits you might make. ;)

Yeah... package deal, sorry about that. But maybe there's some crazy bi girl a bit closer to you that's not all hung up on a straight boy. :D

Putting the sex in transsexual. And the zap. And the PTA.

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