The Bus of Cute and Awful

Going to work on the 358 this morning there was the most adorable little toddler sitting in the bendy bit with his clearly exhausted mother. He looked at me. He babbled at me. Dare I say he flirted with me? It made me miss the days when m'boy was that small, even though I remember being often as irritated as his mother was. I smiled at him. I caught other passengers smiling at me.

Well, who should get on but a long-haired, grimy-looking drunk, barely able to stand? There are no handrails in the bendy bit, but Drunk Guy was determined to make it past us all to the back. Of course he didn't, or why would I be writing about it? After placing a hand on my shoulder he tumbled backward into the mother & child, his fall partly broken by the man across from them who'd been reading with his well-behaved black cat in the seat next to him.

"Why'd you push me?" he said, I think to Cat Man, who was behind him and holding him off the floor at that point. Dude, nothing but air molecules pushed on you, but that was enough. "I'm callin' my lawyer!" he said.
"You do that," said Cat Man.
Drunk Guy made it to the front of the bus where he could give the driver some aggro and hold up the bus. You don't want to do that on the 358, where the riders are a surly lot. Another passenger got up to challenge Drunk Guy. I heard somebody say, "Sit down or get off!" Happily for everyone, he then got off at Aurora & Crockett.

Moral: If you're going to get on a bus while messed up, and much better you should do that than try to drive, don't try to move about the bus. Not that I think any of my friends reading this are future waste products substance abusers.

ETA: Luckily, no one was hurt. Drunk Guy couldn't even grasp what was happening in the moment, so I doubt he remembers it now.