sistawendy: (angry cartoon)
Good: I got eight hours' sleep last night, more than I have in oh, maybe a month.

Bad: It was interrupted by a nightmare about Nazis rounding up my son & ex from our old garage in Kirkland. They're Jewish, if you recall.

God damn 45, his cronies, and every single pink, put out, petrified piece of poo that voted for him.
sistawendy: (skeptic coy Gorey tilted down)
Salty food for lunch & dinner last night meant waking up at 0300 last night for epic pee. Then it meant tossing & turning until 0700, when my alarm goes off. So of course I fell asleep right then until I got a work-related Slack message.

To quote Daffy Duck, this is getting monotonous. It happened a lot right after the election, but I had hoped it stopped.

CW: spiders. )
sistawendy: (hand staple forehead)
Work: meshuggah.

Dreams: messed up, two nights running. Tuesday night was seeing Evil Sister's kids and waking up crying; it's notable that their age in the dream was their age when I last saw them.

Last night was that I was writing code for a weapons system. The PM said, "Congratulations! You'll really make a difference in people's lives…by ending them."
"That's the most fucked-up thing a PM has ever said to me," I replied. "Hilarious, but fucked up."

Too much work, too much news.
sistawendy: (taco madonna)
I have a date of sorts with Much Younger Woman on Sunday: she wants to walk around Lincoln Park, which for you non-locals is a big, lovely bluff and beach on Puget Sound. The wrinkle? M'boy is supposed to be with me then. She said to invite him along. All righty, then. She is, as always, the queen of surprises.

It's nice to know I didn't become unattractive to women over the winter lull.
Vile nightmare last night that woke me up at 0426: I was supposed to euthanize Puppigrrl with a shotgun. My son was with me, and she was curled up on a dog bed in the back of my Sanctimobile. I refused. Jeez, she didn't even look old, as she was when we had her put down for real.

Ungh.

May. 22nd, 2015 05:03 pm
sistawendy: (lizzy)
I'm roughly a week late doing a refactor. If I were inclined to pray, I'd pray that the next build passes. This time for sure. I've been either working, with my son, in some kind of moving vehicle, or asleep all week.
It came to me in a dream last night: "blintz" should be the word for a weed omelette. I was trying to say "blunt", but "blintz" came out.
Dropped off my Aspiring Ex & the Wendling for their trip to visit relatives, and I just barely got them there in time for their plane. From downtown (Seattle) to Phinney to Kirkland to SeaTak and back downtown took me three hours due to traffic and one drawbridge. I missed and interview I was supposed to give. Dammit.
Weekend plans:
  • Dogsitting in Kirkland.
  • A gathering of the greater MOOer community to watch certain epic European cheesefest.
  • If I have time, the Merc's birthday party on Saturday.
  • A barbecue with my local )'( buddies.
  • Clubbing on Monday afternoon.


Update: The build passed right after I finished the above paragraph.
sistawendy: (butterfly)
I dreamt that my Evil Sister had invited me out to lunch with her high school friend G. I drive up to this restaurant at the edge of a gorge, and apparently part of it has fallen in. The table that we're seated at is sloping toward the gorge, with nothing but air between the far side of the table and a drop of tens of feet. I sit on that side.

There are ropes tied to rings that have been helpfully bolted to the exposed rock next to the table. I tie one of the ropes around my waist.

I said something like, "You sure picked a dangerous place to have lunch."
She said something like, "No more dangerous than what you're doing."
I can't remember what I said next, but I was confident. It might have been, "That's my business," or, "It's only dangerous because of people like you."
I looked at G, who was silent the whole time. "Do you think we should be subjecting G to this?"
"No, I guess not."
End of dream.

Background: I've been Facebooking back & forth with my cousin J who lives in Oklahoma. He's a decent, non-transphobic guy maybe ten years older than I am who recently found out to his dismay just how often queers, and especially trans women, get bashed and murdered. Maybe that's what nudged me into dreaming about blood relatives.

The whole dream also reminds me of the famous two-hour argument that Good Sister and I had in a restaurant in June of 2010. Frankly, I can't imagine Evil Sister being as civilized as Good Sister was.

So that's three dreams about family members I've lost in as many weeks. That means they stop now, right?
sistawendy: (weirded out)
I dreamt that I'm mowing a lawn I don't quite recognize with an electric mower as I did for so many years in Kirkland. While I mow the front, Evil Sister in the back yard is raking maple leaves - the kind you find in Seattle, not Florida, where we grew up. I finish the front, but ES hasn't made much progress with the raking. She's been bagging the leaves, which we never did growing up, but now she's nowhere in sight. I stop mowing.

Later that night, I'm in the unfamiliar darkened house, and I'm thirsty so I go to the kitchen for a glass of water. I hear familiar shuffling footsteps. Dad walks in, and he's there for the same reason. I can't find the cups, but he does: a tall stack of clear plastic ones that would have been right in front of me if I hadn't started moving around so much trying to find them. Dad gets his water first. He hasn't said a word. Then my alarm goes off.

That's the second time this week that my father's appeared in a dream. Go away, woo woo, go away.
sistawendy: (hand staple forehead)
I just gave my Deltron 3030 ticket to [livejournal.com profile] ionan, the one who turned me on to them, because I'm still not quite feeling up to a night at a show. I must say, though, that it's been more than 24 hours since my last debilitating head rush.
And maybe the ick is responsible for my dreaming of looking for my son in an unfamiliar old schoolhouse (?) and finding my late father instead. I wish I could remember what he said. That was a disturbing way to wake up.
But I have happy plans ahead: Aspiring Ex & the Wendling will be visiting AXMom in SF the weekend before Thanksgiving. That means I'll be staying at the old place in Kirkland to look after Bigpuppy. Temptress & I have made plans to make use of the house (ahem) and go out to Ceremony on the 15th. This is where I cackle and rub my hands together.
sistawendy: (Burning Man wings)
Burning Man prep continues. I hit REI for non-perishables, including a replacement for the bike basket I crumpled during my terrier avoidance maneuver the other day. I have plenty of short skirts in my clubwear collection, but not yet enough skimpy tops. Hey, that's what's sensible in the daytime on the playa. An night I throw on a jacket.
Dealing with a bug from hell. Luckily, it only affects one of the sites I crawl.
Didn't get enough sleep due to a nightmare that somebody was using my old name. This doesn't happen to cis people.
sistawendy: (skeptic coy Gorey tilted down)
Had a lovely time at Carpet Samplez last night with cute lesbians and a couple of lovely Manhattans with some lovely Bulleit Bourbon. This last may foreshadow what came next.

I turned out my light last night at 2345, pretty much as usual. Then the fun started:

0330 - Nightmare in which I was in a standoff (Did the police arrive halfway through?) holed up in large, expensive, tastefully-decorated residence that wasn't mine, shooting at but missing the more deserving of my co-workers. I can't believe I'm that bad a shot. It may have been a hostage situation, but I'm not quite clear whether the hostage was my son, my Aspiring Ex, or my PM.
0435 to 0600 - Text conversation with Temptress to arrange a first date. It turns out she gets up at 0400 to go to work (!) and I was already awake.
0630 - Work-related automatic alert that fixed itself and required no action on my part.

I got to work after noon today. I'm lucky that I work at a company where I can do that. And oh by the way, I have a date soon with a woman who I know is interested in me.

nightmare

Mar. 3rd, 2014 01:40 pm
sistawendy: (butterfly)
I awoke at 0624 from a nightmare than only a post-op trans woman would have: being a pre-op trans woman. In public. In a sundress. With an erection.

In the dream, I did my best to think of Aspiring Ex's grandmother before I had to stand up.

Never have I been more grateful to wake up and realize I don't have a penis.
sistawendy: (smoldering windblown Merc alley)
I moved faster than I got advice and sanded the purple stains off the shelf on my bathroom mirror. Good: The stains are gone. Bad: There are a few scuff marks in their place. Middling: The porcine housemate with whom I share that bathroom is unlikely to notice the scuffs, as is the landlord whom I haven't seen in who knows how long. Besides, I could probably cover the scuffs with a wax pencil or paint or something white & gooey.
I dreamt Sunday night that I was responsible for inserting a record for Yoko Ono into Major League Baseball's scoring database. It caused a problem during a game broadcast. Apparently I didn't mean to leave it there. Yoko had to let me and a co-worker into a medium-sized ground floor office space somewhere to fix the problem. She didn't say anything, but if she was mad at us, she didn't show it. Very sporting of her.
sistawendy: (weirded out)
I dreamt that I walked into some random non-chain coffee joint where I'd never been before, ordered, & sat down. The barista, as she works, starts dropping 16-ton hints ("Would you like some whip with that?") that she knows I'm kinky.

She was tall & heavyset with butch dark hair. Maybe I should look for her.
sistawendy: (weirded out)
Dream: I've been accepted into Princeton (?) as an undergrad (?!) and, just like the last time I was an undergrad, I'm getting ready to go there in boy clothes and hair. Aieee! But I still have my girl eyebrows, and I'm checking them in the mirror.
sistawendy: (butterfly)
Dreamed I was on hormones last night. I hope the rest of the day goes as well.
sistawendy: (butterfly)
Good dream last night, over the top good. Mom took me out shopping for a really nice outfit, all white, something like a debutante's, brand new and on her. I'm a little fuzzy on what the occasion was, but Mom was planning to be there. She asked me if I wanted a top hat and I told her, "I would totally rock that." Strawberry Blond Sister was shopping with us and not giving me grief. There were brief negotiations with the hatter; I attribute that to getting estimates on my bathroom. The whole dream I chalk up to the Spain trip. I can't remember the last time I had such a ridiculously happy dream. Maybe I never have.
Nibs gets bombed again today. She's been in a lot of pain and she's been sleeping even more than usual lately. This better help, not least because m'boy comes home tomorrow.
Oh: you might have noticed that I've started friends-locking every trans-related post. That's because it may be only a matter of time before my son takes a peek at my journal.

laming out

Jan. 16th, 2009 10:35 pm
sistawendy: (hand staple forehead)
I thought Battlestar Galactica was on at 10 tonight. But neau, it came on at 9, just when I was going to get ready for Riz at Re-bar. I got sucked in. Ah, well, as Nibs points out, money's a little tight for two nights out on a weekend. Besides, there's still the MLK night at Neumo's on Sunday featuring - you guessed it - Riz.

I've figured out that nearly getting run over because rain makes bike brakes work less well gives me possibly recurring nightmares about brake failure while driving. Arg!
sistawendy: (hand staple forehead)
From the Dept. of Good Share: At the current rate I will have dreamed of at least making out with every woman on my friends list by the end of the year.
sistawendy: (butterfly)
Haunted Usual Haunts & Re-bar, but never quite got into the mood. I wish I'd braved the weather & fatigue and gone to see Garth at See Sound instead. If you want, you can still catch him on Sunday night at Re-bar, as I read in the jane there. It pays to pee.

One of a group of four drunken assholes duded me and put up his hand for a hi-five. I put mine up, then he put his down and said, "I'm wasted and I still saw that was a dude!" In case any of you were wondering, this behavior was not classy. (By the way, the hand I raised has my men's wedding ring on it.)

Speaking of tranny things, this afternoon's naptime dream: through a wall in a strange place I can hear Nibs tearfully ordering estrogens over the phone for me. There was some conversation that led up to that, but I was so astonished that I've forgotten.
sistawendy: (stern nun)
...you make your son watch An Inconvenient Truth with you before he can watch Harry Potter and the Goblet of Fire. In my defense I'll say that he was asking me stuff about global warming, some of which I was having trouble answering. To my considerable relief the movie held his attention. He even asked a couple of questions about it, and he appeared to understand most of it. But dammit, Gore, both of us could have done with less navel-gazing and more planet-frying action. Gore's occasional snarking didn't go over well with me, either. This isn't to say, though, that I don't think kids should see this. I'd just wait until they're 12 or 13 for the vocabulary.

Dream: an old friend decided to try to cheat at a Vegas casino. I failed to talk him out of it. He asked me to stay away from him at the casino because I attract attention en femme. I said that was no problem.

Still catching up with housework & Potter 7. I'm kind of glad LJ swooned yesterday.

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