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Several weeks back at an (ahem) event, I met a lady. We hit it off. So we arranged for drinks at the Wildrose.
She's interesting. We have compatible... tastes, oh yeah. She's into me. She's not at all bad-looking. But I had to tell her I wasn't feeling it.
And why? She's married, and was looking to set up a V, i.e. a three-person polycule where one is the partner of the other two, who aren't each others' partners. I'd love to play with her, but even attempting a relationship where you're not enthusiastic going in is something I've tried before, and it doesn't work.
Oddly enough, I feel like I made the right choice. I feel like I can finally, positively answer Tall Girl's question from twelve or so years ago: "What are you looking for?" I told the lady that I'm looking for something that looks a lot more like monogamy, only with kink, please. I said, "I want it all." She said that's a lot to ask, and she's right.
I know what I want, but my problem is that I don't know how to get it, aside from continuing to shake the tree. And as we've seen in recent weeks, sometimes rotten fruit fall out of it.
But the lady in question did very sweetly walk me all the way to the Capitol Hill train platform and kissed me good night.
Thence to chez G of G & Shiny H fame. I was expecting Really Wild Things, as tend to happen when Shiny H is involved, but that wasn't the plan. This was sort of a post-Halloween party for G's pre-teen kids and their friends. There weren't many adults there. Shiny H's DJ fella set up a very professional-looking dance floor in the living room and spun goth faves. The kids are, indeed, all right, but I didn't have as good a time as I expected. I feel as if I'm doing this weekend thing wrong again.
But! Things to look forward to:
She's interesting. We have compatible... tastes, oh yeah. She's into me. She's not at all bad-looking. But I had to tell her I wasn't feeling it.
And why? She's married, and was looking to set up a V, i.e. a three-person polycule where one is the partner of the other two, who aren't each others' partners. I'd love to play with her, but even attempting a relationship where you're not enthusiastic going in is something I've tried before, and it doesn't work.
Oddly enough, I feel like I made the right choice. I feel like I can finally, positively answer Tall Girl's question from twelve or so years ago: "What are you looking for?" I told the lady that I'm looking for something that looks a lot more like monogamy, only with kink, please. I said, "I want it all." She said that's a lot to ask, and she's right.
I know what I want, but my problem is that I don't know how to get it, aside from continuing to shake the tree. And as we've seen in recent weeks, sometimes rotten fruit fall out of it.
But the lady in question did very sweetly walk me all the way to the Capitol Hill train platform and kissed me good night.
Thence to chez G of G & Shiny H fame. I was expecting Really Wild Things, as tend to happen when Shiny H is involved, but that wasn't the plan. This was sort of a post-Halloween party for G's pre-teen kids and their friends. There weren't many adults there. Shiny H's DJ fella set up a very professional-looking dance floor in the living room and spun goth faves. The kids are, indeed, all right, but I didn't have as good a time as I expected. I feel as if I'm doing this weekend thing wrong again.
But! Things to look forward to:
- Next weekend I'm following the Tickler's plan, which includes naughty behavior and then epic Nordic eetz & drinx at the National Nordic Museum.
- Friendsgiving with Biker. I'm bringing mead.
- If the planets align, a bus trip to Tacoma to see my favorite vampire witch queen.
- More naughty behavior, and another opportunity to meet women who share my, uh, tastes on the 25th.
- I pulled the trigger on that trip to Portland: going down Jan. 19th, coming back the 20th. Yeah, I had to pay for a hotel room, but I couldn't see spending more time travelling than actually in the city.
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Date: 2023-11-13 10:35 pm (UTC)From:#1 - IT IS NOT TOO MUCH TO ASK FOR WHAT IS RIGHT FOR YOU IN A RELATIONSHIP!! Having your kink needs met in a relationship with someone who ALSO can give you what you need romantically and as a PARTNER is never 'TOO MUCH'. Is it hard to find the right fit? Absolutely, but so is finding the ideal pair of shoes (see also, shoes that are lovely and fun and comfortable are also good while looking for the perfect pair). Looking for the ideal anything is going to take time, I see no reason why an ideal relationship should be easier to find than the ideal car, or bike, or eyeliner. SO I CALL HUMBUG ON 'TOO MUCH'!!
#2 - I am looking for good suggestions for both good meads and where to buy them. My biggest relationship with mead has been homebrews (which, to be honest, have been STUNNING), which does not assist with being at all versed in shopping for them.
#3 - Yay to most of this post. And HOT DAMN GO YOU for saying "not for me" to the V relationship. Compatible kinks is important, but compatible relationship needs is too. So WELL FUCKING DONE MADAME!!! YAY GOOD BOUNDARIES!!! (not that you have ever really been that bad at them, I just celebrate people being good at them because it's so fucking important, and so worthy of celebration!)
#4 - It is too bad you can't stay until the 21st to have the whole day of freedom for fun in Portland for your birthday. Which is not to say Seattle doesn't want to celebrate your birthday with you in any way, just its a bit of a bummer to spend some of your birthday day on travelling.
I am hoping to meet up with the Cupcake Queen in the nearer than far future myself. Lives are hectic and human bodies are bullshit.
no subject
Date: 2023-11-13 10:46 pm (UTC)From:I got my mead at Mr. B's in lower Fremont. On any given day they have around fifteen or so different meads on sale in a range of sweetnesses, most with adjuncts. It's a good place to take people, though, because the decor is mind-blowing. Not a lot of people, though, because the place is tiny.
no subject
Date: 2023-11-13 10:49 pm (UTC)From: