surgery pre- and post-op instructions, the last words

[sistawendy]

The surgery hits keep on coming. I guess they got tired of all my questions because they sent me the big ol’ packet via Docusign with all the info and lots of blanks to fill in. Highlights:

1. Low sodium, low carbohydrate diet for two weeks prior to surgery to cut down on water retention.
2. Dandruff shampoo (!) for two weeks prior to surgery.
3. No hair coloring for a month before surgery.
4. Pre-op appointment on April 27th. Yeah, I should have seen that coming and not bought my plane ticket for then. Fortunately, I paid extra for an adjustable ticket, so I’m good there. I also extended my hotel stay by a day.
5. Confirmed, no waxing, sugaring, plucking, electrolysis, or laser hair reduction anywhere on my body from one month prior to three months after surgery.

I’m so not looking forward to telling the lady who sugars me that I won’t get to see her for four months. She’s a single mother who’s not exactly rolling in it. When I’m ready to go back in August, I wonder if she’ll have any time for me. Le sigh.

I put Dancer’s name on the form as the person who’s looking after me, with her consent, natch. Likewise I put my son down as the person to call with the news of how the surgery went.

This is a lot even if you put the funk in executive function like me. I shudder to think of what other, less fortunate trans women go through with all this.

In any case, the packet is SINED, SEELED, and DELIVERED. (Brownie points if you get the reference without googling.)

Comments

[threemeninaboat]

That is the longest surgical set up I've ever seen and I was a surgical tech and surgical scheduler.

[solarbird]

Why me, Sista Wendy?

Oh yeah 'cause I wrote a song about it. First verse:

I got a diesel-driven jet bolted onto my wheels
I got a couple dozen suits don't know what I can feel
I got a mountain full of rock flyin' up in my face and
I got fifteen minutes left to prove my case
If the laws of physics get me I ain't got no appeal
I put the petal to the metal and I'm sined and I'm seeled
Let's go!