"So, Maura, how was your first gay date?"

I'm glad you asked. The short answer: good. But you don't read LJ for the short answer, do you?

First, it took us until yesterday to nail down a venue because she works weekends, resulting in brief nunly craziness. I suggested coffee as perhaps the most innocent first date option there is, and she suggested a bar in downdown Bellevue. Cool.

So, we ate, drank, and talked for a couple of hours. Yeah, we have some things in common: we've both had to make some hard changes in our lives relatively recently.

The only weird moment for me was when she asked me if I preferred men or women. What I said was, "Women." What I thought was, 'Are you kidding me?' I thought I'd made that clear, but apparently not.

As we were leaving, she asked if she'd see me Thursday night and Saturday at SEAF. Yes, and hell yes.

---

In the shotgun seat of my car, as I type, is my primary surgery letter. I told Dr. Shrink it should be written in gold leaf.

a bite from a perspective sandwich

I mentioned in my previous entry that I now have my "primary" surgery letter. That's the letter from one's main shrink, the one who knows you best. I've been seeing Dr. Shrink* for over ten years now, so he's ridiculously well qualified to write the letter.

He had me proof it, natch. (He spelled my surname wrong once. I laughed.) The thing that struck me the most about it was how much my view of myself and what I am has changed, or at least what I claimed was my view of myself. Remember, I met Dr. Shrink maybe a year after meeting most of the MOO kroo, and shortly before I met most of my gothy friends.

Maybe the reason I took so long wasn't fear, as I've often said - fear of the reaction of the world at large, fear of poverty, fear of Nibs, or fear for Nibs & my son. Maybe it took me that long to get to know myself.

I remember shortly after I told Nibs I was going to go through with it, which was the first concrete step I took toward transitioning and the hardest thing, emotionally, that I've ever done. I was talking to (Who else?) cupcake_goth about it, and she passed on her hubby stroppy_baggage's reaction: "It's about bloody time." He seems to have spoken for many. How long had you guys all been thinking that?



*Name available upon request, but chances are his practice is full. He has scads of experience with transgender clients.