PDA as spectator sport

I was over at the old place last night, as is usual on Wednesday nights. I'd just said good night to my son, and was about to do the same to Aspiring Ex, when I came upon her and Mr. Right Now snogging in the kitchen. I quietly waited a few seconds, then:

SistaWendy: After watching all this canoodling, I'll have to come up with more wild lesbian sex things to do with [Temptress] next weekend.
AX: How would you like it if I watched you and made inappropriate comments?
RN: She'd probably like that.
SW: Bwah hah hah hah!
AX: Then I'll get some people together and we'll talk baseball at you!
SW: BWAH HAH HAH HAH!

Seriously, I wish Mr. Right Now all success in extracting the stick from AX's butt. I've been married to her for nineteen (!) years, and as you can see I didn't finish the job.