the first stages of planning for T-day

[sistawendy]

You know the opening scene of O Brother, Where Art Thou? where George Clooney and his two fellow escapees are running through a farmer's field, occasionally hiding, all chained together? That scene reminds me of Nibs & me. We finally talked seriously, in professionally refereed comfort, about what's going to happen when. It was pretty constructive, with plenty of surprises of both kinds. Even though we have no plans to head for Splitsville, I finally broached the subject of where our sex lives are going. She seemed pretty shocked, so I didn't push it. That didn't bother her as much as the idea of my body changing. Yes, we're on different planets.

I'm also reminded of the words of Helmuth von Moltke the Elder: no plan survives contact with the enemy.

New Year's Eve was the fifteenth anniversary of our first date. I forgot. She didn't. I don't feel guilty for a change, but seldom have I felt sorrier for her.

Comments

[ximinez]

For the first time, I really have to question whether your transition is really such a good idea...

...Only a man could forget an anniversary on New Years Eve.

*ducks*

[sistawendy.livejournal.com]

Anybody who's felt treated like a chore machine & ATM for the last n years could.

[ximinez]

Ouch.

[fizzgig-bites.livejournal.com]

*hugz*

[gement.livejournal.com]

Even though we have no plans to head for Splitsville

This was news to me. I thought that was one of the conclusions when you made solid plans to transition, was that she didn't want you to do visible stages until the two of you had separated, for reasons involving her religious and social life.

It impresses me that staying together is still an option on the table.

[sistawendy.livejournal.com]

That's what she said earlier, but things are understandably fluid right now, and I wasn't necessarily clear on where she stood anyway. She doesn't want to divorce legally because she desperately needs my bennies. It's also hellaciously expensive. It won't really be urgent unless one of us wants gets into another long-term relationship. I'm OK with this because I have Enough To Deal With Already.

As for physical separation, Nibs suggested something that I think would work really well: building a mother-in-law. If we can legally (CC&Rs) and financially do it, that might be ideal.

[generalchaos.livejournal.com]

You do mean a mother-in-law apartment, right? Or were you looking for some spare people parts?...I know a guy...

[sistawendy.livejournal.com]

I mean an apartment. I've already got all the human mother-in-law I could want.