I shouldn't let her get to me, but I do.

[sistawendy]

I tried to call my mom as usual on Sunday morning, and got a fast busy signal. Then I tried again and got a recording that said something about "facilities trouble" in a Southern accent. This went on for an hour or so, and then I wondered, 'What happens when you try to call a house that has burned down?'

Let the freakout commence! I tried to contact her local phone company, and eventually texted Strawberry Blond Sister, the one who isn't speaking to me, asking if anything was wrong. No response.

Four hours of frequent attempts after the first call, I get through to Mom. It turns out she had switched land line providers, and that was what knocked out her service. I asked her for S.B. Sister's hubby M's cell phone number in case of emergency, because I don't want to go through this again. Mom told me some time ago that she had told M about my transition, and that he had a blessed abundance of more important things to think about.

This morning I texted M saying, "Hey, it's Maura, your brand new sister-in-law." And why I'd gotten his number. Well, I guess M told my sister, because I got an angry text from her telling me not to contact anyone in her family. I told her to relax, that M knew, and that this was in case of emergency. She said to text her instead.

Uh huh.

You know, she has the right to control my contact with her kids. M, however, is a grown man and can make up his own mind about me; to hear Mom tell it he already has. SB Sister and her family are my only family in the same state as Mom; Brunette Sister lives near D.C. I will have an emergency contact that I can trust.

I suppose I should ask Mom for her neighbors' number, too. They'll give me less grief.

At least when Brunette Sister says she's worried on my behalf, I believe her, misguieded as that is. What the hell is SB Sister afraid of? Where did she get this much hate?

ETA: What is she going to do if Mom passes away before she gets around to telling her kids? Throw a hissyfit at the funeral?

Comments

[loree.livejournal.com]

Fox News?

[sistawendy.livejournal.com]

Heh. I wish it were that simple.

[maellenkleth]

If my experience is anything to go by, at least one hissyfit per funeral is **guaranteed**. Think of it as a free fireworks show, and enjoy the reactions of others watching it. ^_^

[javagoth.livejournal.com]

Sorry you had to go through with that and glad you got the other contact number!

{{{{{{{{ HUGS }}}}}}}}}}

[xaotica.livejournal.com]

yeah, i just don't really talk to my family. it's sad, but there's only so much abuse i can justify from anyone in my life.

in case it ever calms you in the future, i worked at a voip for 8 years and the reorder tone is typically not cause for concern...

[draggonlaady.livejournal.com]

What happens when you call a house that's burned down is that the line rings indefinitely. You don't get an error message, because the line is fine, there's just nobody to answer it, same as if you unplug all the phones from the jacks.

As for what SB will do at the hypothetical funeral which we all hope doesn't happen anytime soon is most likely try to stall/dissuade you from coming, and failing that, not bring the kids. Or lie to them about who you are. Sorry that you're saddled with such an intolerant crabapple, but at least she's not in the majority, yeah?

[ximinez]

I wonder what she's hiding... What deep, dark secret she's repressed herself from expressing...

[evillinn.livejournal.com]

I generally don't subscribe to this kind of theory, but had come to a similar thought. It sounds like she's just so angry that she doesn't have control that she can barely breathe. Makes me wonder what it is that requires her to have so much control. I'm hard pressed to believe it really is just about you, M.

[savannarama.livejournal.com]

Agreed. Probably some inborn tendency to be a raving @#%$, but probably some real pain, resentment and anger in there, built up, that has nothing to do with the Present.

[sistawendy.livejournal.com]

Probably some inborn tendency to be a raving @#%$

That's Mom's theory. It took me a while to come around, but I think she's right.

Resentment? Of me? Everything good that I have I earned. Everything bad that she has, she also earned.

Y'know, other trans women have told me that they can Just Tell that the transphobic lesbians they run into have gender issues of their very own. I haven't noticed that in this case, but then again I'm not there in person.

[savannarama.livejournal.com]

You'll note I did not say resentment of you, specifically. I have no insight into your childhood history with her.

[schmi.livejournal.com]

:( That's pretty rough. I hope she comes around to accepting it soon and that you can at least talk and clear the air.

[fizzgig-bites.livejournal.com]

If this comes up again and you can't get a hold of anyone local, call me. If your mother is in the same neighborhood, she is 10 minutes away and I usually don't mind. One knows, I counted on neighbors the ten years I was away. I can return the favor and pass it on. I will PM my phone number.

[sistawendy.livejournal.com]

Thank you, sweetie. I have a number for you, but it has a UF exchange. I'm thinking that's out of date, right?