What are YOU looking for in a partner?

[sistawendy]

[I've been writing up events several days after they happen lately. This one is from Monday night the 26th.]

I had dinner with Tall Girl - not a date - for the first time in nearly a year to swap )'( tales and, as you'd expect with me involved, to talk about adventures and misadventures in dating. She asked me a question that I've been asked once before: "What are you looking for in a partner?"

I had to think about it.* I confessed that I have U-Haul** tendencies, so she better be OK with that.
"Are you looking for serious romance?" asked Tall Girl.
I'd never thought of it that way. I smiled. "Yeah, that would be nice."
She said she'd see what she could do. Awww.

What else do I want? Here come the bullet points!

• I love to geek out with girlfriends; you must be at least this smart to get on this ride.
• I love to shop with girlfriends, and I'm a reasonably girly girl.
• I miss romance, silliness, long conversations, and yes, snuggling & sex.
• I've been known to dance until my feet blister, and I'd love a partner.
• Watching TV makes me feel dirty, and not in a good way.
• I'm anal about housework; slobs make my hands do choky motions. Long live the Oxford comma!
• Kink is a plus.
• Religion - any kind of religion - is not.

I don't buy Tall Girl's assertion, by the way, that monogamy is unnatural, much less unnatural for me. (Did I argue with her about it at the time? Of course not. I'm my mother's daughter.) Tall Girl and her parents are poly, but I know plenty of people my age for whom monogamy seems to be working out just fine after upwards of a decade, even if not without difficulties.



*Yeah, there are a couple of individuals I could use as examples, but they're off limits for various reasons, even off limits to this here LJ.
**An ancient joke that I first heard from dianala: "What does a lesbian bring on the second date?" "A U-Haul trailer."

Comments

[trystbat.livejournal.com]

It seems that among certain alternative communities, monogamy is considered uncool or passe. But hey, monogamy, poly, monogam-ish, they're all different flavors & ways of being for different folks, & none are more or less "natural" any more so or less so than L-G-B-T-S-etc. are "natural" for any one person. And one can be fluid in any combo of all of these thruout one's life (esp. females; there's studies, go look 'em up ;-).

Besides, I thot the old U-Haul joke was absolutely *because* of a tenancy towards serial monogamy in lesbians. Geez!

[gement.livejournal.com]

I don't buy Tall Girl's assertion, by the way, that monogamy is unnatural, much less unnatural for me.

I roll my eyes so hard at this sentiment that I'm at risk of spraining something.

Natural or unnatural is a word I have stopped applying to human issues anyway, because our environment is so complex that working out nature from nurture is a lost cause, and nature includes all kinds of things we disapprove of. "Natural" or "unnatural" as value judgments strike me as an Appeal To Authority fallacy.

That aside, people who assume everyone must be [bisexual / poly / mono / better off if they only eat X] get a heaping helping of "Stop living other people's lives for them, kthanx" from this corner.

Other than requiring a sufficiency of oxygen, nutrients, shelter, and interactions to thrive as an organism, "everyone" has so little in common it's laughable.

[darkmane.livejournal.com]

Shoes and corsets are unnatural.

Lots of people still wear them.

Of course I detest shoes and am ambivalent about corsets.