Nun tries the last word in sex toys.

[sistawendy]

[This entry is public, but it contains text, links, and search targets that are NOT SAFE FOR WORK.]

Remember my teaser from last week? Well, the package has arrived: a Sybian, the base package with silicone attachments.

For those of you who can't or don't want to follow that link, a Sybian is basically a next-level vibrator. It's so big you have to straddle it. It's shaped like a Quonset hut and comes with a little padded thing to lean on. It's powerful enough that the directions wisely say to put it on a padded surface; the Tickler warned me, I believe correctly, that it's powerful enough to annoy the neighbors and maybe even rattle things off shelves. The damn thing weighs at least twenty pounds (9 kg) plus attachments etc. and plugs into the wall. Designed and built in the USA, baybee.

It has knobs for vibration and rotation, the latter of which apparently only applies to the phallic attachments. These knobs are frequency controls, something I've been sorely wanting in a vibe ever since I started making my right hand, well, sore.

So far I've only tried one of the two attachments that I got, namely the nub as opposed to the small phallus, because a) safety first, and b) I have a small vagina. Getting my clit into position and keeping it there, not to mention getting in the mood first, is a real trick for me. I took it easy on the settings, natch.

Did Sybil the Sybian* blow my mind? Not yet, but she didn't do badly, and I haven't even tried the other attachment yet. There's a 45-day trial period. What happens to Sybil if the trial doesn't go well is something I don't want to think too much about. I'm motivated, though, to make this work because...

How much did all this cost? Um, well, $1245. Before you gasp, folks, we're talking about preventing injuries to my dominant hand here. And maybe more sleep. This is not the craziest thing I have ever spent money on. And if it doesn't work for me, well, maybe lady friends will enjoy it.



*You knew that was inevitable, didn't you?

Comments

[ximinez]

$1245 doesn't seem that bad. You bought a boutique computer. With attachments. That can't get to Facebook. That's a feature.

[sistawendy]

Heh. It does seem to be built to last. I'd be surprised if there were any digital electronics anywhere in it; I don't see why you'd need them to make something like that. The mechanical engineering that went into it, though? Nontrivial.

[ximinez]

Yeah. Mech Eng is pretty bad ass.

[elainegrey]

Can the padded surface be one's bed? Hope the trial period works out!

[sistawendy]

Yup, that's the surface I use. I figured it was more effective at sound absorption and more comfortable than my yoga mat, and more convenient than anything in my living room. The latter would require moving furniture and my son's absence.

[randomdreams]

Ooooh you're way ahead of me in suggestions elsewhere about making it quieter.

[hpapillon]

While the "fancy device" I bought is much cheaper than a sybian, it was still well over what i'd paid for a toy before - one of the reasons I justified the purchase was that injuring my hand seriously fucked up my life for much of a year (I am STILL dealing with repercussions of that) and therefore maybe I needed something that wouldn't stress my wrist in the same way, for safety.

(I don't think the rabbits were primarily responsible for the damage, but I don't think they helped, either.)

[basefinder]

Very cool!

All I can think is what if randomdreams turned his maker skills to such a device? :-)

[sistawendy]

I love randomdreams and I have nothing but respect for my abilities, but he's not allowed to touch Sybil. Still, though, if I ever find any deficiencies, I'm sure he could design & build improvements.

[basefinder]

Hehe, if he improved it you would likely need a crash helmet and safety goggles to operate it! :-) He amazes me with his ingenuity.

Having suffered from hand and wrist problems myself, I sure hope this works out for you.

[randomdreams]

"but EVERYONE wants a 'flamethrower' button, right?"

[ivy]

"It's literally hot!"

[randomdreams]

"Whoah, it's been years since I've seen a 'turbo' button!"

[ivy]

This comment made me laugh out loud. [grin] I've had past partners who offered to machine sex toys for me, but unfortunately the one who seemed likely to actually do it had very different ideas than I did about what it should be like, and as the intended recipient, I believe that my wishes there should win. "No, no, but it would be much more awesome if it was [bigger|spikier|more eleventy]!" was not a compelling argument to me, and so the project never got off the ground, so to speak.

[sistawendy]

The customer is always right.

[ivy]

Right -- I understand if my machinist ex didn't want to sink a ton of effort into something that wasn't going to be hot to him, but I didn't want to star in his personal fantasy if I wasn't gonna enjoy it. Being uncomfortable and annoyed is not hot, heh. So, impasse.

[basefinder]

I only get as far as "Maybe I could make a..." before my wife says "NOPE!" :-)

[randomdreams]

A couple of years ago (well, like 15) a friend sent me a video of a bike with a hole in the seat and a vertically articulating attachment that went through said hole and asked if I could build one. I said no because that friendship was dubious already, but sketched up some additions that would add variable frequency and amplitude. I still think it's mostly a terrible idea.

[basefinder]

Scary!

[sistawendy]

On a related note, at the Seattle Erotic Art Festival one year I experienced the Electrobike: a stationary bike driving a generator that was hooked up to the handlebars. There were electronics to vary the pulse patterns. At one point I was one of three people in series between the handlebars, and that was just about right. That's more a BDSM toy than a sex toy, though.