Transfeminine cannibalism: can we please not?

[sistawendy]

I was scrolling through Bluesky — yes, Dreamwidth, I've been unfaithful to you because I miss Twitter-that-was — and one of the many trans women I follow there used a neologism that really got under my skin: "passoids", who don't understand "the brickhon struggle".

For you folks whose gender identities have always been congruent with your physiology, i.e. cis folks, I take "passoids" to be a mildly derogatory way of referring to trans women who pass, that is, who aren't visibly obvious as trans women. And "hon" has been addressed to me at least once; it's a term for... trans women who aren't passoids, usually older. And "brick" is one of "thick", "stick", or "brick", a trio of terms that came out of the Black community.

Now, trans women who pass have been absolutely beastly to those who don't. That was even truer in the past; I saw that for myself in the '80s and '90s, which is ancient history to a lot of trans women today. But that doesn't make being beastly in the other direction OK. Especially for trans women of color, passing is often a survival skill.

I know I don't pass, at least not most of the time. Would I like to pass? Sure, it would cut down on scary moments involving mass transit, and maybe more importantly, it would help alleviate my dysphoria. So if you're willing & able to pass, doing so is your own damn business. I would really like everyone, trans or cis, to internalize that.

Comments

Enlightenment

[fizzgig_bites]

Thank you for sharing. I never knew this. I feel that with all parties facing the same struggle, everyone would be respectful. Hon has always been a term of endearment for me, says the southern woman.

I might have to watch what I say.

[tylik]

There is so much policing of femininity in this. Which I've gotten more than a little of first hand, and I'm cis.* (I am guessing brick in this case is not used along the lines of a brick shithouse...)

* Ish.