sistawendy | The Wendling is Bar Mitzvah!

My son did exceedingly well chanting the Torah at his Bar Mitzvah. He even went a little too fast; Cantor said yesterday that he'd given up trying to slow him down. I even got the impression that during the slack times m'boy looked bored. When I asked him afterward, he said he wasn't bored; he was just daydreaming. How like him. And like me.

We didn't expect things to go quite this well. I'm ashamed to admit it to you now, but just nine months ago your mother & I were wondering who among the relatives we would have to ask to chant parts of your parsha.

If you don't forgive me for saying that now, I hope you'll forgive me for describing what things were like about ten years ago. You didn't treat other children as people. You didn't say anything that you hadn't heard someone else say, word for word. Taking a different way home caused you tremendous distress. We wondered if you'd ever be able to take care of yourself.

Our fears at that time don't look any more hysterical to me now than they did then. We had every reason to worry.

But in all my impatience - for which you deserve my deepest apologies - and despite frequent reminders from your mother, I often forget how far you've come. And you're still coming.

The operative word here, though, isn't "coming", son. It's "you". You did this. You decided you wanted to do well, and you put in the hours, so many that I quickly got tired of putting them in with you. Not that you missed me.

And that's the way it works with just about anything worth achieving.

Step one: you decide you want it. Step two: you make a plan. Step three: you execute. Repeat steps two and three, as necessary, until you succeed.

You're not a standard-issue kid. You never have been, and in some respects you never will be. For example, you're the only person your age I've ever even heard of who's expressed a desire to be a historian. And how many kids your age even try to figure out the meaning of the political cartoons in the paper every day?

Being non-standard can work to your advantage, though. I know: that sounds like the kind of thing well-meaning grown-ups say these days just to make kids feel better.

But I believe it. I mean, surely there has to be a use for an unusual ability to remember World War II military history facts, or recall the highlights from Mariner games that happened several weeks ago, or argue 'til the cows come home. All of us need to work at figuring out just what that use is. It'll probably take something extra.

Fortunately, I think you've got that something extra in you. And if you don't have it, you have the power to get it. Remember the all-important step one.

I used to tell people that in ways both good and bad, you're more me than I am. I still think that's true, but there's so much more to you than that.

I keep using the word "more", and it bears repeating. Now that you've worked so hard and done so well here today - and I hope you're as proud of yourself as we are of you - I mean to tell you that there are many more things like this in life, more things to do with your eyes, your ears, your hands, and yes, your mouth, and every last one of them is worthwhile. I'm sure you'll love some of them, and I can't wait to spend the next few years checking them out with you.

Your mother once told me you're not allowed to play professional football or join the Marines. I say you are, if that's what you really want to do. All you have to do is make up your mind.

We're proud of you, and we love you.

Mazel tov!

Boy, was I glad to get out of a dark suit on a sunny day that no longer fits properly. How convenient that under a white dress shirt, a sports bra looks like a wife beater. I still kept my jacket on, though. I've been spending quality time with

motherofangels and Brunette Sister, with more to come. Much happiness all 'round.

The dinner at Ooba's has been had, the relatives are starting to drift away, and the frenzy is winding down. We're all taking a bit of a break, starting now. Ah.

Taking three days off was just about right.