Maura's Illuminated Manuscript

My son did exceedingly well chanting the Torah at his Bar Mitzvah. He even went a little too fast; Cantor said yesterday that he'd given up trying to slow him down. I even got the impression that during the slack times m'boy looked bored. When I asked him afterward, he said he wasn't bored; he was just daydreaming. How like him. And like me.

( My speech, as read to my son in front of the congregation. )

Boy, was I glad to get out of a dark suit on a sunny day that no longer fits properly. How convenient that under a white dress shirt, a sports bra looks like a wife beater. I still kept my jacket on, though. I've been spending quality time with motherofangels and Brunette Sister, with more to come. Much happiness all 'round.

The dinner at Ooba's has been had, the relatives are starting to drift away, and the frenzy is winding down. We're all taking a bit of a break, starting now. Ah.

Taking three days off was just about right.

Masturbation spreads STDs and is bad for the economy. Did you know that? Scroll down for helpful photos of typical masturbators.

Ganked with gratitude from queenofthenight.

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There's way too much happening between now and the Bar Mitzvah. There's the Bar Mitzvah itself, PTA stuff, and work stuff. If I make it to June 15th alive it'll be no small victory.

Layout, print, swear, print, swear, print, crop, stuff, stick.

M'boy has got all of the songs & chants for his Bar Mitzvah down. In fact, he's taken to practicing them way too fast. That's not at all the problem we expected to have nine months ago. He's snarfed all of one of the longest parshas (Torah portions) in the annual cycle; we expected to have to scrounge relatives to do parts of it. I'm not allowed because I'm neither bar nor bat mitzvah.

Nibs has, to my considerable relief, done a DIY invitation design. Clip art + MS Paint = done! All I have to do is finish the printing and bum some time on the office paper crop.

I just uploaded my son's Mitzvah project page. Yeah, text by Nibs, web design by yours truly. As Bob is my witness, though, the rest of it won't be by either of us, except for the driving.

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I predict bra shopping will be necessary by the end of the month. I'm coming along so nicely, of course, because that has the potential to cause serious drama at Bar Mitzvah time. Doubt if you must, but I can feel them at slower and slower walking speeds.