one of those down sides to life as a woman

[sistawendy]

I was at the Wildrose last night for a certain gathering of queer ladies that never quite happened. Only one other of us showed up, and even she came quite a while after the official start. So what did I do? Sit at the bar & chat with the bartender and this other lady about ten years my senior. It was all lovely until 10YMS bought me a beer.

And then the other lady from my group showed up. And then 10YMS bought us each a drink. And then 10YMS bought us each a rose. Mine is now in water in my apartment.

Pressure? Between lesbians? Yes, apparently. They're a lot smoother than the dudes about it, but it still feels kind of icky.

ETA: 10YMS told me how pretty I am and how well I pass a couple of times. That heightened the creepiness a bit.

Comments

[dark-phoenix54.livejournal.com]

People are people no matter what shape of genitals they have. There will always be some that boundary pushers.

[eeyorerin]

Ignorant CisLady Question here: Is "you pass so well" ever a compliment? I've always assumed that commenting on someone's "passing" would be rude and also none of my goddamn business.

[sistawendy.livejournal.com]

In general it is, but I'm pretty sure I'd already mentioned by that point that I'm trans as part of my policy of, "I'm trans, I'm here, I'm fabulous, get used to it." One's past does tend to come up in conversation. Also, a lesbian bar is going to be the hardest place on earth to pass as a woman anyway, so why bother trying?

There are a few more radical trans folks who are against the whole idea of passing, the idea that cis people are the physical ideal. Whatever. I'm more than OK with people knowing about my past as long as they treat me right, and that includes treating me as a woman.

ETA: Let's face it. The women I most wish I looked like are cis. I don't think that's wrong. If it is, so are most trans women.