sistawendy | an unwanted personal first

You all know by now about the mass shooting at a gay bar called Pulse in Orlando. Fifty people were killed, with more than that many wounded. There was a vigil here in Seattle, as in many cities around the world. I wasn't originally planning on going, but the Siberian Siren, who lives just steps from both the train station and the site of the vigil, invited me.

So of course I went. I figured it was a healthier thing to do than obsessively reading Twitter as I've been doing the rest of the day. (I brought kosher dogs to her place first, though, because hunger and grill.) I helped the SS put on her chaps, in which she looks fabulous with a biker jacket; I was already in my Pride flag leggings & tailed hoodie. The Siren's girlfriend, A, looked butch as usual.

As we walked to the big open space at Cal Anderson park, a reporter from KPLU, one of the local NPR stations, pointed a mic at each of us in turn, me first. The only things I could think of to say were, "This could have been us. We will not surrender." The SS was more eloquent. I can't remember what A said, but it was insightful.

Then to the big open space, which was already full of people. There was the Seattle Men's Chorus singing "We Shall Overcome". The mayor, governor, and local queers - Muslim & Latino - speechified. Our candles burned.

I bid the SS & A good night, and set out in search of

gement, et al. Of course I found a completely different set of queers I know, including former Lambert House volunteers &

bork. In that respect and others it was like Pride, only serious. There were Sisters of Perpetual Indulgence, a giant Pride flag with dozens waving it, and even a few Goth girls.

Did I cry? Nearly, which for one of my mother's daughters is saying quite a bit.

We will not surrender. We will not. We will live our lives, we will share our joy. We will not let anyone twist this into divisive propaganda. (The queer community is too smart for that. After all, we've been the targets of it too many times. We need to bring everyone else up to our level.) And sooner or later, we will prevent this from happening again. We must not surrender.