Nun plays tourist in her hometown.

[sistawendy]

Even though I lived in Gainesville, FL for all of my youth that I can remember, I never made it out to Payne's Prairie, a nature reserve and Florida's largest state park.* Seriously, this was a bucket list item for me. No, I didn't see much in the way of wild animals or birds due to the time of year, but I did get to walk on a forest trail for that eerily quiet primeval vibe with plenty of palmetto, magnolias, and vines & Spanish moss hanging off the live oaks. This little walk, plus walking up the steps of the 50' observation tower, just about did Mom in.

Speaking of Mom and her condition, well, it could be better. She's wobbly, and I wish I had a buck for each time I'd helped her remember a word since I arrived. (Unlike Ex, though, she can describe the word she's trying to remember. Get Oliver Sacks on the seance phone.) Mom has no intention of moving out of her big, beautiful house if she can help it. I don't blame her, but I wouldn't bet a lot of money on her being here in another five years. She's getting a reasonable amount of exercise, I think, but Good Sister & I concur that she isn't eating right. And I dare you to try telling her that; I already have.

Yesterday afternoon I drove up to the University of Florida campus. That may seem an odd place to go alone over the Christmas holiday, but it was my home away from home when I was young. I went for a stroll down memory lane: my dad's old office building, the duck pond by the student union where the whole famn damily would go feed the ducks, the library where I stealthily read everything I could get my hands on about transsexuals, the Music Building where I had so many lessons and orchestra rehearsals, the auditorium next door where I played and heard my fair share of concerts. Next to the auditorium I had to sit down and cry for my dad, the state of the country and the world, and for the roads I didn't take. To be fair to myself, though, nearly all of the fucking up I did happened after I left Florida.

There's a hippy-dippy used bookstore about ten blocks' walk from Mom's house that's been around since I was here. Now that's the Gainesville I remember. I walked over there with Mom and got something light & fluffy**. I've read it already; I don't care. And for about the umpteenth time in as many years, I walked Mom into the ground again. She's really hesitant about stepping onto verges or off curbs, and I think that's for the best.

When Mom went to bed, I bopped over to chez cardinalximinez & fizzgig_bites for some much-needed time with people my own age. I hadn't seen their daughter in five years; the girl is proudly kicking butt in school & extra-curriculars. I'm happy for them all, and not so much jealous as beat down about my own son's difficulties. But still, it was a wonderful evening and I owe them all for helping me recover some sanity. If we make it out to the University Club - Gainesville's only gay bar - drinks are on me.

Mom didn't have a proper whistling teakettle until I got her one this morning at the big mall across the street from my elementary school. (My sisters & I remember when it was a horse pasture.) Recent events had me extra alert for signs of hostility, but the only thing remotely like that was one blue-collar looking dude taking a smoke break who discreetly checked me out - I saw his reflection - for reasons uncertain. Mom warned me about the likelihood of a crush of last-minute shoppers, but it was less crowded than a typical weekday afternoon at a Seattle-area mall. I wouldn't have known it was Christmas without the decorations and Santa hats. It is to laugh.

This afternoon, Mom took me on a tour of... new construction. No, really, new apartments and shopping centers. Why she's interested and why she thinks I'm interested I'm not quite sure. But nevertheless, I've seen plenty of evidence that Gainesville is prospering, driven at least in part by an influx of retirees attracted to medical facilities, which owe much to the U of F.

ETA: Mom has sensibly given up climbing, so she needed me to change a compact fluorescent light for her. The base of it was so hot that it burned my hand, and I dropped it. It broke. I may have huffed a little mercury vapor, but I also may have saved my mom from dying in a fire. Go me?



*The Everglades are a national park.
**Bill Bryson, Notes From a Small Island.

Comments

[randomdreams.livejournal.com]

Based on where you are in your life, I'd say you didn't screw up very much at all, so I don't think you should be too critical of your choices.
You almost make me want to visit Gainesville.

[sistawendy.livejournal.com]

I hear you, and thank you, but when you're a techie you're surrounded by Really Sharp People rolling in cash, even in comparison to your nun, who hasn't exactly taken a vow of poverty. It can be bruising to the ego and it makes me worry about the future.

[ivy]

Possible antidote: Really Sharp People rolling in cash is our bubble. It is *not* most of the world. So I have the opposite worry... we're way better off than most, how are they going to get by without a better safety net than there is now? (Of course, where I am in Florida had a literal parade of senior citizens in golf carts carrying signs that read "TRUMP COUNTRY". They're happy. And I don't know how many of them are going to be around for how much of it. They don't either.)

[randomdreams.livejournal.com]

That's one of the problems I feel like we're having trouble answering: how do we get participation in dealing with crises that'll take a human lifetime or more to unfold?

[ivy]

Yeah, particularly when so many people are concerned about their immediate future. It's hard to see past that when your hair is on fire. It's been done before -- we created National Parks, for example. I'm trying to look to that sort of thing for examples of how, even if a lot of it in political history seems to be "have a plan ready to go, wait for some sort of disaster that gives you the temporary will of the people, enact your plan".

[randomdreams.livejournal.com]

The spying/locking up people/starting wars crowd seem to be much better at that particular tactic right now.