sistawendy | the tenth anniversary of knowing who I really am

Ten years ago today is when I finally became convinced that I needed to transition, as I mentioned at the time with uncharacteristic brevity.

Stay tuned for more tenth anniversaries: the 26th of this month will be the tenth anniversary of telling my Ex I was going to transition, still the emotionally hardest thing I've ever done. January 20, 2020 marks ten years on hormones. July 1, 2020 marks ten years with my new name. And best of all, December 10, 2020 marks 10 years of living as a woman.

I shudder to think what this journey would have been like without the support of friends - that's many of you, readers - and my mother. My mother was there for me from the start, and even with her mind going and with the lawsuit, she still hasn't deliberately misgendered me. And as for friends, on June 21, 2008, I was out for my weekly en femme club outing when I saw

cupcake_goth in the basement of Neighbours, which back then had a Goth night. She explained that the Elder Goth Cabal (which doesn't exist) had elected her to deliver a message: "You need to tell [Ex]."
"I know," I said. I did know, but it was still wonderful to hear that she and the rest of the Cabal (which doesn't exist) cared.

Every once in a great while I get asked if I have any regrets about transitioning. For the record, I think this was the single ~~smartest~~ best decision I ever made, all the more so because I'd been programmed against it for decades, and I had what turned out to be a pretty good idea of the hardships ahead. I find the question almost insulting in its obtuseness. No one does what I've done on a whim. Being transgender is not a lifestyle choice like vegetarianism. I ended my own existential misery.