The good news: I got my tax refund, just barely within the three weeks that the IRS says it usually arrives after they get your return. Now my challenge is to not use my debit card so frequently that it gets locked; that happened last year.
The bad news: Ex wants to hire a lawyer and get our son evaluated to see if we can get him on SSI. She says he can't work more than five hours at in a row without some time to unwind (read: jumpenflappen). She says other parents in our situation have made it happen, and that he's going to need it if he's ever going to move out of her house. She wants him gone pretty badly; he's with her five days a week and isn't the best housemate.
I have all of the feels about this.
Silence. And a guilty look on his face.
"You need to come up with an answer to that question," I said. He pointed out that if he's a full-time student he'd have to work less. I'm so very OK with that. Ex, who graduated college in 1981, has outdated notions of working oneself through school. I need to disabuse her of this Boomer baloney.
So now that's potentially two lawyers who might get their hands on my tax refund: one for my mother and one for my son, both with brain problem situations.
The bad news: Ex wants to hire a lawyer and get our son evaluated to see if we can get him on SSI. She says he can't work more than five hours at in a row without some time to unwind (read: jumpenflappen). She says other parents in our situation have made it happen, and that he's going to need it if he's ever going to move out of her house. She wants him gone pretty badly; he's with her five days a week and isn't the best housemate.
I have all of the feels about this.
- I don't think it's likely to succeed. I think the gummint is likely to conclude that he's just
a whiny-assed scatterbrained punkan ordinary ADDer with a helicopter mom, and not eligible for benefits, no matter how many times we appeal. - Even if we did succeed, it feels to me as if we'd be scammers.
- How does the Wendling feel about this? Ex told me she'd made him aware. I brought it up over dinner last night, and it seemed to be news to him. I tried to keep my tone neutral. He was against it, but not vociferously. He disputes what his mother says about not being able to work more than five hours in a row. That to me is surprising as sunrise.
Silence. And a guilty look on his face.
"You need to come up with an answer to that question," I said. He pointed out that if he's a full-time student he'd have to work less. I'm so very OK with that. Ex, who graduated college in 1981, has outdated notions of working oneself through school. I need to disabuse her of this Boomer baloney.
So now that's potentially two lawyers who might get their hands on my tax refund: one for my mother and one for my son, both with brain problem situations.
no subject
Date: 2019-03-13 05:59 pm (UTC)From:no subject
Date: 2019-03-13 06:06 pm (UTC)From:no subject
Date: 2019-03-13 06:06 pm (UTC)From:no subject
Date: 2019-03-13 07:15 pm (UTC)From:no subject
Date: 2019-03-13 07:32 pm (UTC)From:1) what kind of transitional/vocational programs exist in your county/city/community for young adults with the Wendling's set of needs? What kinds of transitional planning did the Wendling get in high school? Are there counselors who specialize in this kind of planning that the Wendling could meet with?
2) what universities/colleges in your area offer programs or seem to work with a lot of students with the Wendling's set of needs? My university has more and more resources these days, but some universities tend to have better reputations and resources for working with those student populations. I have no idea how you'd research that but I bet someone somewhere has done that kind of research or other parents/students with this dilemma have done it or are discussing it somewhere.
no subject
Date: 2019-03-13 07:49 pm (UTC)From:I don't know about transitional programs or transitional planning in high school, but he's aware of the help available from his local community colleges. Typically, he's been reluctant to use it. It occurs to me that he's like me and my mother this way, which is really unhelpful right now.
no subject
Date: 2019-03-13 07:44 pm (UTC)From:no subject
Date: 2019-03-13 07:47 pm (UTC)From:Oh, I'm OK with his not working at all if that's what it takes.