Maura's Illuminated Manuscript

So for a few weeks now I've often been waking up around 0330 and having trouble getting back to sleep. Yes, melatonin works if I take it early enough, but I also build up a tolerance to it quickly. What to do?

If you'll recall, weed lube knocks me right out. Thanks to that party hostess Weed Vixen from over two years ago, I slept seven and a half hours, until my alarm went off. (Did I have a better-than-usual orgasm? Maybe. It's hard to tell. It definitely wasn't faster.)

The real question, though, is how I'll sleep tonight and tomorrow night. I don't particularly want to use the weed lube again tonight - dependency, wrist tendons, my son trying to sleep in the next room, you know - so we'll see if getting me out of the habit of waking up crazy early is sufficient.

It surely doesn't help that I can't ride FM Bike. I miss her.

About a year ago I was at a party and I mentioned that I'd like to try weed lube. The hostess piped up and said that she'd just made some, and would I like a jar?

There's only one correct answer to that, so I now have about half of a 4 oz. jar left in my night stand.

The people who make weed lube commercially say it gives you longer, better orgasms, and probably a pony too. Wayell, I'm not sure about that - it doesn't detract from the experience - but for at least the second time I got an unusually good night's sleep right after using it.

Maybe the makers of weed lube are missing a marketing opportunity. I mean, I would think people desperate for more & better sleep heavily outnumber those desperate for better orgasms.

The Tickler & I went on a date last night to Funny Lady's birthday party, which was at the home of another birthday girl, to be known as Diesel Bleeper for her love of both auto repair and techno production.

At first, the Tickler's delicate digestion was being, well, delicate. So she took one hit of somebody else's weed and was not only right as rain but fairly stoned. Ah, the wonder that is modern, legal weed.

Lots of lovely women, one of whom was wearing Fluevogs. She led me into temptation with Fluevog's winter catalog. Shoe whores lovers unite! She also brought killer rugelach from New York City.

But the real action was in the basement. That was where the hosts had set up a stripper pole. Sure enough, because Seattle, a couple of the guests knew how to pole dance, so they stripped to their sexy undies and did their thing. Oh my.

And the music for the night was either recorded by or produced live by Diesel Bleeper and a friend (boyfriend?) of hers. DB is part of Funny Lady's polycule, if I remember correctly, so I knew her and I knew that she did make techno. What I didn't know is that a) she's good, b) she has tons of gear, which I saw down the basement hallway in her studio, and c) she's trying to recruit more women into doing the bleepy thing.

Uh, shyeah! As you might expect from someone with my love of electronic music, I've messed around with Ableton but found the learning curve to be quite steep. I think it's a godsend to find someone like Diesel Bleeper willing & able to clue me and other women in. The only problem from my perspective is time; October is shaping up to be madness. It doesn't help that DB's place is in the south end and mine is in the north.

The party ended with Funny Lady tipsy, in her underwear, and tickling people, starting with me. She herself is, of course, not ticklish. The Tickler and I give the nearly naked FL two thumbs up. The Tickler had never met Funny Lady, so I don't think she quite believed my hype about FL's parties. She believes it now. Dayumn, my birthday party should be as good.

The rest of the calendar day: cuddles and snores with the Tickler, brunch at Itto's, costuming, and making my birthday invitation list at Funny Lady's urging. She says to send save-the-date messages soon.